Forgettable: that's what you are

Take one ageing quizmaster, a memory expert, Annabel Giles and three retentive contestants, blend for 30 minutes and what do you get? An instantly forgettable game show.

Monkhouse's Memory Masters (7pm BBC1) features three contestants who have been trained in the basics of mnemonics for two weeks. With their "awesome brain power", the Memory Masters compete against each other in a series of rounds which test their recall of detailed information - in tonight's show they are required to memorise the names of 50 sheepdogs and their owners. The problem is that apart from a short section, the viewer can't compete against the contestants, for example when they're put through their paces on the regiments of the British army.

It's undoubtedly true that Bob Monkhouse (currently enjoying a new lease of life following appearances on The Big Breakfast and Room 101) has in the past saved a stack of shows from instant ignominy - Family Fortunes, Celebrity Squares and Bob's Full House, to name just a few. But even he will be hard pressed to save Monkhouse's Memory Masters from TV hell.

If you switch on half way through, prepare yourself for a language not of this world: "a racing car minus a bobsleigh equals a boxing glove," or "a rugby ball multiplied by a tennis racquet equals a dumbbell". You've been warned.