Heard On Air

Once Glenn Hoddle's disappeared, we'll worry about Pinochet again Drive (R5)

Well, the Dalai Lama's ruled himself out, he was 10,000 to one. The Pope's on at 5,000 and we've taken a tenner on Ron Atkinson - I think it was his own

Graham, Information Exchange (Southern Counties Radio)

The Malaysian women's open golf champion is Jo Hood. How do I know? Her mum just rang to tell me

John, Sports report (SCR)

We're taking the romance out of Valentine's Day and putting the vagina back in Loose Ends (R4)

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That is why we call it the present Johnnie Walker (R2)

The next record is Bruch's Violin Concerto. Someone who really knows about music chose it and I thought it it'd make me sound classier Bill Bryson Desert island Discs (R4)

Dame Nathalie Drest writes ... Wogan (R2)