Latitude 2013: Five minutes with... Marcel Lucont

Marcel Lucont is a self-described 'flâneur, raconteur, bon-viveur', and 'easily the greatest UK-based French comedian around'. Who needs any more of an introduction than that?

Which latitude are you on right now?

I am currently delivering some culture to Australia, so 33.8683° S is my latitude, although here they probably call it a "latto." I will never understand this Australian predilection for shortening every conceivable word - none of them seems to be in a hurry.

Sum up what you do for us in one sentence for anyone who might not know…

I am a flâneur, a raconteur, a bon-viveur, although if you do not know of me by now it is possible you do not deserve to, and are convening in the wrong social circles.

If you could give us one hot tip for who to see at Latitude what would it be?

You are talking to this hot tip right now.

Do you have any pre-show rituals?

The all-important three Fs - food, fan mail and fellatio. Receiving not giving, in all three instances.

What’s your best festival story for us? The stranger the better!

During my chat show at Adelaide Fringe Festival in 2010, I was masturbated at mid-interview by an inebriated transvestite from Darwin who happened to be a guest on the show and had already sunk a hunting knife into my table. I wish this was not true, but I and that night's audience all have the psychological scars to prove it.

Tell us a something you’ve never told an interviewer before…

There are no other interviewers but you in my life. 

What’s your signature cooking dish?

Are you asking yourself on a date with me? I am flattered of course, if unsurprised, but only a select few get the chance to discover this.

What book/film/record etc. changed your life and why?

The music of Gainsbourg was of course an influence to a young Marcel. Perhaps the Melody Nelson album, perhaps 'Requiem Pour Un Con.' Either way, I recall discovering this treasure in my father's collection and from it inferring carte blanche to behave as I have continued to do for decades since. The man could do no wrong. The authorities and past lovers may disagree but it is, more often than not, my opinion which counts.

Knock Knock, who’s there?

I feel you are getting increasingly distracted during this interview. Do not forget how lucky you are to have my time. Whoever it is, they will not be as important as me, so ignore them and continue please. I hope you are only doing this on work experience and not on Latitude's payroll.

Summarise Latitude in three words

Starring Marcel Lucont.

www.soundcloud.com/marcellucont

www.marcellucont.com