Lyric sheets

In the week REM secured pounds 53 million for a five-album deal - the biggest advance in pop history ...

ADVENTURES IN HIGH FINANCE

If all the trendy students

Paid a tenner from their grants

And all the politicians

Sold their grannies and their aunts

And Princess Di was rented

At a thousand quid a dance

It wouldn't be a fraction

Of the REM advance

To build a business empire

From guitars and faded jeans

To spend a million dollars

Just recording tambourines

Even if they nationalised

The country's ganja plants

They wouldn't make the wonga

In a REM advance

Think about it seriously

And wonder how it's done

A Rock Endowment Mortgage

Til you're almost fifty-one

Without some cryptic lyrics

And a democratic stance

It's only Alan Shearer

Picks up that kind of advance