Lyric Sheets

Auntie's Chart

Radio 1 has banned the latest Prodigy single, "Smack My Bitch Up". The band seems likely to join a distinguished list of other artists who have reached No 1 partly as a result of a BBC ban

From opium flowers

Through golden showers

To dreams requiring tissues

Old Auntie has to draw the line

She feels, at certain issues

In years gone by

A sultry sigh

Would make poor Auntie blench

Accompanied by steamy words

Especially in French

Much hipper now

But still somehow

Like sheep dressed up as mutton

From time to time she feels the need

To press the bleep-out button

An airplay ban

Works better than

The front page of The Sun

No sooner Auntie's censure

Than the song's at Number One

Though is it nice

To give advice

To say that girls need hitting?

"Tack my stitch up."

Auntie beams

And gets on with her knitting