Lyric sheets: Elton John paid himself a record pounds 35 million last year...

Elton John has so much cash

His million-dollar birthday bash

Made less a dent on his estate

Than pinpricks could on armour plate

From Moosedong, Maine to old Berlin

The juke-box whirs, the loot comes in

The punters wait, the discs go on

Surprise, surprise. It's Elton John

While Radio Mongolia play

"Your Song" at least eight times a day

On nearby tundra in some yurt

A tartar throws up on his shirt

But "Rocket Man" makes more each week

From being translated into Greek

Than Princess Di might cost on hire

To mind your kids and lay the fire

More wedge comes in while he's asleep

Than most of us could count in sheep

And even if his airplay fails

There's merchandise and ticket sales

And all that stuff involved with sport

And settlements made out of court

Which one supposes means he's got

Not quite as much as Camelot