Lyric sheets: Portrait of the Pilgrims

This weekend, Heavy Metal fans will form an orderly queue at Donington to see Ozzy Osborne and a reformed Kiss get on the good foot...

He was a mutant biker gent

A Queequeg clone from Stoke-on-Trent

In rigger boots and forage cap

With tattoos fit to grace a chap

More used to knocking buildings down

Than minnying round in Camden Town

His favoured drinks were Jack or Jim

He carried bottles round with him

His mole, who swigged Mad Dog 'n' Vod

Considered Ozzy Osborne God

Their tastes converging thereupon

They came to Castle Donington

And there among the sea of cans

With hordes of Heavy Metal fans

They soaked themselves in sturm und drang

And worshipped at the Church of Kerrang

While underneath his weekend gear

There lurked a civil engineer

Whose girlfriend also kept it dark

About her job as BT clerk