Monitor: Quotes of the Week

"Although I have lost the best job in racing, I don't think my life has been ruined."

Kieren Fallon, jockey (above), on his sacking following tabloid exposure of his fling with his boss's wife

"I couldn't bear the strain of having to be right all the time."

Sir Peter Ustinov when asked why he never became a politician

"I don't have a pile of blank passports in my inside pocket and go round saying, 'Ere guv, want one?'."

Michael Ashcroft, Tory party treasurer

"Awards are like piles. Sooner or later, every bum gets one."

Maureen Lipman, actress

"The Heaven in which we will find ourselves is neither an abstraction nor a physical place among the clouds. It is a living and personal relationship with the Holy Trinity."

Pope John-Paul II

"No flowers please, just caviare." Jennifer Paterson, celebrity chef who is ill, in a message to her well-wishers