Music: Lyric Sheets

Chris Smith, the Culture Secretary, has agreed to the staging of nine Hyde Park gigs every summer for the next five years. The concerts will help to raise money for the royal parks. Artists lined up include Sting, Simply Red and Sir Cliff Richard

Margaret's Noisy Neighbours

Here at Kensington Palace

One sits and sips one's gin

One closes all one's windows

In case the noise comes in

If one hears one more drumcheck

Or roadie shout, "One two!"

One won't be held responsible

For what one's going to do.

One knows of course, the artists

One's heard of Simply Red

But much more of Cliff Richard

One might go orf one's head.

One much preferred the Sixties

One dug the Rolling Stones

One played the early albums

On Palace gramophones

One quite enjoyed the concerts

Shambolic though they were

But what one can remember

is somewhat of a blur.

And these days, with Mick Jagger

One tends to think, "Aye aye...

One makes one's own four-poster

And that's where one must lie."

But none of this withstanding

One finds the music lame

It's all form and no content

Which one thinks is a shame

One sees these prancing boy groups

Which one finds rather bland

And wonders what became of

The Edgar Broughton Band?

One tried to get to Woodstock

And Glastonbury Fayre

One's sister put her foot down

One's sister's such a square.