Music: Lyric Sheets

People who are tired of Alanis Morissette's angst can now contact The Alanis Morissette Lyric Generator. This Internet device (www.brunching.com) allows the user to punch in their own emotional problems and have them set to Alanis's music.

Is it a paraffin greenhouse heater?

A moped fuelled on cow excreta?

How many miles will it do to a litre?

Alanis Morissette

Is it a portable trouser-press?

A seventeenth-century birthing dress?

A Luxembourgian water cress?

Alanis Morissette

A caravan no longer sold?

A French Canadian wrestling hold?

A fridge which keeps bacteria cold?

Alanis Morissette

No. Alanis Morissette

Is like the sort of noise you get

While waiting with a wounded pet

Before arrival of the vet.

It rants, it rails, it shrieks and squeals

And while your tooth enamel peels

It tells you how fed-up it feels

Alanis Morissette

Like Joni Mitchell's spoilt niece

or something out on day-release

Too much of it, you call the police

Alanis Morissette

When fifth-form angst as poetry

Meets well-paid music therapy

You get the lot on one CD

Alanis Morissette