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My Secret Life: Ladyhawke, musician, 30

Saturday 29 August 2009 00:00 BST

My parents ... split up when I was 12 years old. My stepfather, who got together with my mum when I was 14, is a jazz musician; my Mum is also a singer and played the guitar and piano. They now run a couple of companies together.

The home I grew up in ... was a typical New Zealand wooden-board house, built by my grandparents in the 1950s, with a big back yard and a swimming pool. My family sold it when I was 19 and we moved to Wellington, but my mum recently bought it back and will move in over the summer.

If I could change one thing about myself ... I wish I didn't have such bad anxiety and wasn't so shy. I've always been a nervous person, very awkward. I can't walk without looking awkward, it's my middle name.

My secret crush ... If I revealed that, it wouldn't be a secret any more.

I drive/ride ... I used to drive, but I haven't ridden in anything except for an aeroplane in a very long time.

The last time I cried ... was yesterday. I'm not prone to tears but everything is getting too much at the moment. I don't have a minute to myself. Yesterday was a particularly bad day; I got overwhelmed and lost the plot.

At night I dream of ... zombies.

My real-life villain ... If you could create a person out of all the construction workers outside my apartment every morning, then that would be my real-life villain.

What I see when I look in the mirror ... someone a lot younger than I actually am. I still think of myself as a child.

My wish I'd never worn ... skateboarding shoes in the 1990s.

A book that changed me ... was 'Lord of the Flies', which I read as a kid. It made a huge impression and got me into reading books.

The last album I bought or downloaded ... was Steely Dan's 'Can't Buy a Thrill'.

The person who really makes me laugh ... is Sarah Silverman. She is so evil.

It's not fashionable but I like ... playing video games and being alone.

My five-year-plan ... I've never been one to plan ahead, but I'd like to do a couple more albums and spend more time with my family.

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My favourite work of art ... is a painting that my friend Sarah Larnach did for me. It is of a kitten dressed in traditional Indian Elephant adornment.

My favourite item of clothing ... is my boot collection. I have Dr Martens in every colour and length; really cool brown-suede workman boots, and a pair of black YMCs, which are my favourite at the moment. I've got really big feet so they fit into men's shoes.

You wouldn't know it but I'm very good at ... cooking.

You may not know it but I'm no good at ... sport of any kind. I enjoy being in the water, which is as close as I get to physical activity.

My house/flat ... is always a complete mess. I'm living in a flat in London at the moment, which I'm about to move out of. I feel like I have no real home, so I'm going back to New Zealand for the summer to work out where I need to be. No matter where I live it's with organised chaos; I've kept too many things for sentimental reasons: piles of books, video games, tables, wires and keyboards.

My favourite building ... is the old St Pancras Station building in London.

Movie heaven ... is any documentary, but I just love films generally. I always travel with a large collection of DVDs.

What's the point? There is no point, everything just is what it is.

My greatest regret is ... trusting a couple of people in the past who I shouldn't have.

My life in six words ... How about just one word: chaos.

A life in brief

Phillipa 'Pip' Brown was born in Wellington, New Zealand, in 1979. Better known as the acclaimed pop/indie musician Ladyhawke, she suffers from a number of acute allergies and also has Asperger's Syndrome. Pip, who is between homes, has designed a new label for Becks beer bottles. See for details

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