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Eurovision 2017: The worst lyrics in the song contest's history

Not forgetting 'the cat is happy, the dog is happy' from Russia's 2012 entry Buranovskiye Babushki

Emily Adams,Jack Shepherd
Friday 12 May 2017 13:18 BST
Eurovision 2012 runners up, Russia's Buranovskiye Babushki
Eurovision 2012 runners up, Russia's Buranovskiye Babushki (Getty Images)

Believe it or not, Eurovision was set up to “stimulate the output of high-quality songs in the field of popular music” – not that you’d know from some of the corkers that have come out of the song contest to date.

Here's a brief run-through of some of the worst offenders from throughout the years:

Austria: Trackshittaz (semi-final, 2012) 'Woki mit deim Popo'

“Your bum has feelings, your bum is a part of you, Don’t put it on chairs, your bum has an opinion, yeah”

Montenegro:, Euro Neuro (semi-final, 2012), ‘Rambo Amadeus’

“I got only one rule, always stay cool like a swimming pool”

Netherlands: Teach-In (winners, 1975), ‘Ding-a-Dong’

“And you walk along with your ding-dang-dong”

Germany: Lena (winner, 2010) ‘Satellite’

“I even painted my toe nails for you / I did it just the other day”

“I bought new underwear, they blue / And I wore ‘em just the other day”

Finland: Lordi, (winner, 2007) ‘Hard Rock Hallelujah’

“It’s the Arockalypse…On the Day of Rockoning”

Latvia: Marie N (winner, 2002), ‘I Wanna’

“You make me sweat”

Estonia: Tanel Padar, Dave Benton & 2XL (winners, 2001), ‘Everybody’

“And roll the carpet from the floor / Haha, carpet from the floor, yeah”

Sweden: Herreys (winners, 1984), ‘Diggi-loo, Diggi-ley’

“Diggi-loo diggi-ley, everybody’s looking at me"

Austria: Alf Poier (6th place, 2003), ‘Weil der Mensch zählt’

“The difference between people / Between apes and primates / It-it’s not much bigger / Than between noodles and pancake stripes / Pancake stripes”

Russia: Buranovskiye Babushki (2nd place, 2012), ‘Party for everybody’

“The cat is happy, the dog is happy, the cat is happy, the dog is happy, we are in a wonderful mood and very happy, we are in a wonderful mood, oh joy”

Ireland: Dustin the Turkey (semi-finals 2008), ‘Irlande Douze Points’

“Drag acts and bad acts and Terry Wogan’s wig / Mad acts and sad acts, it was Johnny Logan’s gig”

“Block votes! Shock votes! Give us your 12 today”

“Yes it’s Bulgaria we love you Belarus, Georgia, Montenegro, Moldova, Albania, Croatia, Poland, Russia, Ukraine, Macedonia, don’t forget Turkey, Hungary, Estonia, Slovakia, Armenia, Bosnia & Herzegovina, and don’t forget the Swiss….. Cheese”

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