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Eurovision 2018: Graham Norton's best jokes from the annual Song Contest

TV host had viewers in stitches thanks to his witty quips about the live singing contest

Roisin O'Connor
Music Correspondent
Sunday 13 May 2018 10:26 BST
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Graham Norton on Spain's Eurovision couple: 'I give it a month'

“You should never try and hijack someone's moment in the spotlight. I don't know why they invaded the stage, but we don't care. Because you should never try and hijack someone's moment in the spotlight, no matter how worthy your cause.” - Graham Norton to the BBC.

Graham Norton’s shocked, indignant reaction to the moment a stage invader hijacked the UK’s Eurovision entry performance was pretty much how everyone felt.

The TV host did a stellar job on the night as a whole, receiving praise for his dry quips over the more enthusiastic presenting style of the on-screen presenters.

Here are some of his best moments:

On the opening ceremony: “Now it’s time for the flag ceremony. It’s a new tradition. It’s a way of making the show just that little bit longer.”

“I give it a month.”

Norton’s cutting verdict on the “fairytale” relationship between Alfred and Amaia, representing Spain with Tu Cancion had viewers in stitches. The duo have apparently only been a couple for a matter of months, so it felt like a bold move to declare their love on a stage watched by 300m people.

Spain's Eurovision entry are a real life-couple (BBC/Screengrab)

“Her wedding dress is going to be a real disappointment after that, isn't it? 'This old thing'.”

Estonia's Elina Nechayeva's spectacular dress had images projected onto it during her operatic performance, but Norton wondered how she would ever manage to one-up the outfit in future.

(Getty)

On Moldova’s entry The DoReDos and their song “Lucky Day”:

“It's like they've got a time machine and gone back to 1978. It's like some children's television presenters got a bit over-excited at their Christmas party.... Answers on a postcard please. I've no idea what was going on.”

Moldova perform during Eurovision (Getty)

“Wow. We must applaud the use of flame-resistant hairspray there. That was impressive stuff.”

(Norton was slightly concerned for Cyprus’ contestant’s wellbeing during a fiery performance.)

(AFP)

“It's bring your husband to work day.”

Watching Lithuanian entrant Ieva Zasimauskaite's husband making an appearance at the end of her performance, Norton observed how there seemed to be an unusually high number of real-life romances among the contestants.

On Bones, by Equinox, the entry from Bulgaria: “Some people love the song. I haven't met any of them, but that's what I'm told.”

Ultimately it was Israel that triumphed at this year's Song Contest with Netta and “Toy”, with a whopping total of 529 points with the combined professional and public vote.

“Thank you for celebrating diversity. Thank you! I love my country! See you in Jerusalem!” Netta said in her acceptance speech.

Taking to the stage she performed the song for a final time, in spectacular fashion and representing everything we love about Eurovision: diversity, inclusion, fun, and utter, utter madness.

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