12 UK stores that sound like the hottest rappers of 2015

Why these shops sound like they about to drop the most fire mixtape on Black Friday?

Christopher Hooton
Tuesday 26 May 2015 23:15
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The supply of short, abstruse rap names might seem to be close to exhausted, but it turns out the UK high street is sittin' on straight fire, son.

Here are the retail outlets to look out for pretending that their new album has 'leaked' in 2015:

1. Paperchase

Only dropped one mixtape so far, but Paperchase is gonna be huge with its laid back flow and strong twee stationery game.

2. RyMan

Pretty well-established tbh, but set to break away from Wu with an EP about growing up without giraffe-print ring binders.

3. Lloyds TSB

The most talked about rap collective right now, but soon to splinter into different factions during hard financial times.

4. $TAPLES

Oh sh*t! You just know $TAPLES is gonna kill it on any guest verse. Prefers 65 hole punches to 16 bars.

5. Majestic Wine

Super hip rapper that tore it up at SXSW this year, soulful beats with a Beaujolais flow.

6. Habitat

More of an introspective rapper. Likely to get an 8.4 from Pitchfork and a Grammy nomination but lose out to the more radio friendly John Lewis.

6. Co-op

'We are delighted that our members have chosen in such significant numbers to vote in favour of Co-op’s offer,' said Nisa chairman Peter Hartley

A lesser member of Habitat's squad, Co-op grew up slingin' hummus but is now carving out a decent living in trap bangers.

7. River Island

Actually a dreamy indie band, not sure what it's doing here.

8. PriMark

Promising, but dogged by rumours that its beats are made by orphans in Bangladesh who lose a finger for every hi-hat they miss.

9. OxFAM

Major charities Oxfam and Save the Children say they were amongst those hit

Lighting up the grime scene fam.

10. Fortnum & Mason

Rapper/producer duo in the vein of Freddie Gibbs and Madlib. Known for rapping about opulence and salted caramel.

11. Moss Bros

Abominably dressed but stunningly talented twins from the ATL.

12. Lidl

A Lidl bit of money: budget costs could force a price war with local stores

Following in the footsteps of Lidl Wayne, Lidl Stiftung & Co is the next big thing out of New Orleans with a lot to say about cheap liquor and low quality aubergine.

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