Poetic Licence

Cannabis Debate BY MARTIN NEWELL ILLUSTRATION BY MICHAEL HEATH

Charles Kennedy, newly elected leader of the Lib Dems, says that a Royal Commission should be created to look at the decriminalisation of cannabis. The Bishop of Edinburgh, this week, also fuelled the debate when he said that young people should be taught to use the drug in moderation

The year they made it legal

Or was it the year after?

A silence in the Commons

Except for stifled laughter

The Minister For Cannabis

Stood up to make his point

His shadow interrupted:

"Did you front-load that joint?"

Amidst the back-bench uproar

The Speaker shouted out:

"Order... or whatever...

Yeah... what was this about?

Taxation? Right I'm with you

So anyway these places

We've opened up in London

For people off their faces...."

"Thank you Madam Speaker."

The Minister grinned sweetly.

"The working party's seen them

We checked them out completely

Where was I? Yeah... these Cafes.

Extraordinary really...

The music on their speakers

You hear it much more clearly

It isn't muffled, thuddy

As in a normal venue

Did I say muffled, thuddy?

Or was it thuffled, muddy?

No. Anyway... their menu

Our working party tried it

The skunk was pretty edgy

But okay if you ride it

Whereas the Leb was heavy

Though nothing you can't handle

We all just sort of sat there

Staring at the candle...."

The Minister looked vacant

Remembering the night.

"Taxation?" someone prompted

He smiled and said: "Yeah... right."

"...and look. Is anyone going out?

Because I really fancy some chocolate..."