Poetic Licence: the sacking of a children's presenter
Richard Bacon, a presenter of Blue Peter, has been sacked by the BBC after being caught on a Saturday night vodka and cocaine binge.
Not since vandals wrecked Blue
Peter's garden
Has a shock wave come this forty
years.
Cast aside those Fairy Liquid
bottles,
Wash the tea-time plates in
children's tears.
Telephones from baked bean tins
and cotton,
Lion leaf-spreader gum and sealing
wax,
Wholesome trains of thought for
British children,
Stitched and glued were set upon
their tracks.
Now let's watch as Lesley's busy
making
Working submarines from cotton
reels.
Canter through an after-school
Elysium,
Peter, Val and Petra at your heels.
From a railway in Snowdonia
Noakes yells at a camera in the fog:
"The only line that I remember taking,
Get down, Shep... was to Ffestiniog."
In its golden days, the show's
producer
Kept a mop and bucket by the door,
Just in case an elephant or donkey
Launched a molten missile on the
floor.
All you need's cocaine and baking
soda,
A ball-point tube, some silver foil
and... CUT.
Only muffled voices break the silence,
And the sound of Auntie's door being
shut.
Keep your nose clean. Literally,
presenter.
Hang on to your badge and watch your
step.
I once went with Noakes - don't tell
the tabloids.
Here's one I made earlier. Get down
Shep!
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