Poetic Licence: The Vicar Recruitment Rap

The Church Of Scientology is launching Britain's first national TV campaign promoting a religion. Not to be outdone, the Church of England has picked a 38-year-old female vicar to front their own pounds 20,000 campaign to recruit more young people to the priesthood.

Bap-chik Baba-baba-chick

C of E its the one for me

We're talkin' 3 (feat. Trini-T.)

Your mobile soul-phone

Comes for free.

It's a Friends and Family to...

Big G.

Gimme a V. Now gimme an I.

Add a CAR to the other side

Heaven's gate is a Park `n' Ride

Who d'ya call

when your granny's died?

Vicar.

Say that name with pride

Service time and the bells go clang

It's a happenin' clappenin' kinda thang

From a warm-up prayer in the vestibule

To a chilled out church

And an ambient Yule

Though the Sno B. Deep.

And the wind B. Krool

The smell of Faith is a cool Kagoul

V. for vespers. I for an Eye.

The sermon's hot.

But the ink ain't dry

For those in peril on the C

You who would A (pilgrim be)

No R&R on the Sabbath Day

Can the dude deliver?

YES WAY!

More E vicar? Not for me

X-cept E-clesiastically

When the work comes in

Gotta make that call

"Yo! Corinthians!

Quit it." Paul.

(p.p. Father, Son

and Ghost)

The Devil's illin'

But he's toast.

Vicar. As God as it gets.