Pop: Lyric Sheets

Big names and low prices have ensured that the top five singles are new releases. The new strategy from the record companies means that singles are sold half-price for the first week, resulting in instant chart success, after which records drop out of the chart

The Record Company Primer

This is the record company

That knocks the discs out cheap or free

To give the things a flying start

And send them storming up the chart

This is the stock that's in the shop

Which sells enough to hit the top

Before the price goes up again

And sends the record down the drain

This is the jock who plugs the sound

And sends the record spinning round

Until he's made the song a hit

And everyone is sick of it.

These are the artists being sold

The industry prefers them old

They tend to do as they are told

Which helps them keep a stranglehold

This is a group of indie stars

Who hang around in trendy bars

And act like yobs and shout or swear.

(But some end up like Cliff or Cher.)

These are the actual sounds you hear

Which bring us to this grand nadir

Where one-trick ponies get careers

As long as listeners have cloth ears

And this is the record company

Who sit and rub their hands in glee

They understand what all this means

And may as well sell cans of beans.