Quotes of the Week

"I felt like saying that my hair and clothes might be no good but my et ceteras were in excellent condition."

Michael Buerk, newsreader (above), on an image-maker who had said she could help with his hair, clothes and general et ceteras

"I should have liked to be leader of the Liberal Democrats, but the party wants rather more emollient qualities in its leader than I possess." Menzies Campbell, MP

"I always find love scenes a turn-on. You're kissing and fondling strangers - it's so naughty."

Hugh Grant, actor

"The RA's annual exhibition has for years been the refuge of the hack and the incompetent."

Brian Sewell,

art critic

"We are not trying to force GM food down people's throats." Michael Meacher, Environment Minister

"Whenever the talk turns to age, I say I am 49 plus VAT."

Lionel Blair, entertainer