Quotes of the Week

"He's all small talk. The smartest thing I've ever heard him say is `good morning'."

Spike Milligan (pictured) on Chris Evans, DJ

"A TV host asked my wife, `Have you ever considered divorce?' She replied: `Divorce never, murder often.'"

Charlton Heston, actor

"I am thinking of becoming a little more modern. I need to be a bit sharper - fewer Marks & Spencer sweaters."

Hugh Grant, actor

"I will still be singing and dancing when I'm 100. I just hope my wife can keep up."

Bruce Forsyth, television personality

"He's quite nice, Tony Blair, actually. But I think he's gone raving mad now."

Neil Tennant, pop star

"All that was left was one magnum of Moet. I don't believe it was left deliberately for me to drown my sorrows, more of an oversight."

Lord Marchwood, chairman of Moet Hennessy UK, following the theft of his wine