"Paddy Ashdown is the only party leader who's a trained killer. Although, to be fair, Mrs Thatcher
was self-taught."
Charles Kennedy, Liberal Democrat MP
"One of the letters I had after Talking Heads said that I should think of writing a second series, entirely for men, and calling it Talking Balls."
Alan Bennett, playwright
"MPs are not at their most attractive when they roll on their backs in the hope that someone will scratch their stomachs and give them a biscuit."
Lord Hattersley, Labour peer
"We don't like violence, but we don't mind sex."
Woman pensioner from Essex, to researchers compiling a survey about TV wildlife programmes
"If she wants to phone me for tips,
it will be my pleasure to help."
Vanessa Feltz, TV presenter,
on the Duchess of York's new chat show career
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