Quotes of the Week

"For a serious story it's a single buttock perch, for a lighter item it's the full two-buttock perch."

Kirsty Young, Channel 5 newsreader (pictured)

"It's never crossed my mind."

President Bill Clinton when asked whether he would resign

"I wonder if you thought, as the bleeding women and children were carried into hospitals, that those who were diminished and degraded were not the Iraqis, but us - reduced to being a tail on this verminous and mangy Desert Fox."

George Galloway, Labour MP, addressing Tony Blair in the Commons

"I don't like humans much. Which is not a very good recipe for elective politics."

Alan Clark, Tory MP

"It is not elitist enough, in my view. If I had my way, admission to opera houses would be entirely forbidden to riff-raff like you."

Rupert Christiansen, opera critic