Seinfeld at 25: The show's best quotes
'Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it'

Seinfeld first aired 25 years ago this week, and would go on to inspire legions of imitators and disciples.
It also made a load of us laugh.
Below, we celebrate the juiciest lines from Jerry and co.
Elaine Benes: "I'm not a lesbian. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian" –
George Costanza: "I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual.'"
George Costanza: "I've driven women to lesbianism before, but never a mental institution"
George Costanza: "You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect"
George Costanza: "Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.”
Jerry Seinfeld: “You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.'”

George Costanza: “When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.”
Jerry Seinfeld: “That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”
George Costanza: “This woman hates me so much, I'm starting to like her.”
George Costanza: “I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought of taking mine off.”

George Costanza: “If you can't say something bad about a relationship you shouldn't say anything at all.”
Kramer: “I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!”
George Costanza: "The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli..."
Jerry Seinfeld: “Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.”
Jerry Seinfeld: "Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away."

Watch Apple TV+ free for 7 days
New subscribers only. £8.99/mo. after free trial. Plan auto-renews until cancelled

Watch Apple TV+ free for 7 days
New subscribers only. £8.99/mo. after free trial. Plan auto-renews until cancelled

Frank Costanza: "You have the chicken, the hen, and the rooster. The chicken goes with the hen... So who is having sex with the rooster?"
George Costanza: "I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham."
Newman: Just remember, when you control the mail, you control... information."
George Costanza: "I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up."
Jerry Seinfeld: "You, my friend, have crossed the line between man and bum."

George Costanza: "You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist."
Jerry Seinfeld: "Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?"
Jerry Seinfeld: "Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. That’s like an hour."
George Costanza: "Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it."
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments