I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! review: The older Ant and Dec get, the less their charm convinces

Despite this year’s move from the Australian outback to a Welsh castle, the long-running reality show is as dull and repetitive as ever

When I heard that I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! (ITV 1) was to be transplanted from the Australian jungle to a British Castle, I had high hopes that they’d decided to do something fun and send the various personalities off to Barnard Castle this year. They’d have to drive themselves there, naturally, as their first trial, just to see if their eyes are working. And I think I can say with some confidence that if Dominic Cummings was a late entrant for ritual humiliation, then there’d be a record audience for the show.

Alas, as the prime minister likes to say, the producers chose Gwrych Castle in beautiful North Wales, the arrangements presumably covid-secure to the satisfaction of Welsh first minister Mark Drakeford. Despite the Game of Thrones vibe and some cobblers about it being haunted, Gwrych is actually an early-nineteenth-century mansion, built in the gothic revival style. 

With its open fires and rabbit risotto for dinner, it actually looks quite hygge. The celebs even get their own bedrooms. But apart from that boutique hotel twist, it is the same old lame I’m A Celebrity that has been running for the past two decades. 

The older Ant and Dec get, the less their schoolboyish charm convinces, and the more jaded their patter. It’s so bad, I can’t bring myself to quote any of it. The one who had some personal troubles lately just looked gigantically bored and embarrassed by the whole thing, as well he might, just occasionally a bit too late in applying his rictus grin during the enforced jollity.

Read more: Jordan North in I’m A Celebrity - who is he and why is he famous?

Anyway, it was while watching someone called Jordan North vomiting over a cliff edge (he’s got vertigo, obviously) that I realised what I’m A Celebrity and Formula 1 have in common; they’re both quite dull and repetitive and seemingly drag on forever, and the only point in watching is to see if someone crashes. 

Even on that score, there was disappointment. Alas, North’s spew missed the two A-list celebs, Sir Mo Farrah and Victoria Derbyshire, which would have at least made a story. Instead, the biggest drama was when a maggot got stuck between what Derbyshire called Beverly Callard’s “magnificent breasts”.

Read more: Inside the I’m A Celebrity castle

But just imagine if it was Mr Cummings, rather than dear old Shane Ritchie, who was voted into the next challenge, and was to be thrown into the pit of vipers. Then again, he’d probably enjoy that.