Bill Maher makes crass comparison between Taylor Swift’s exes and her fiance Travis Kelce

‘That second she got some old school wood from the Heartland, it was game over,” Maher quipped

Bill Maher didn’t hold back while comparing Taylor Swift’s ex-boyfriends and her fiance, NFL star Travis Kelce.

During Friday’s episode of Real Time With Bill Maher, the host was monologuing about sexual intimacy rates among Americans and the rise of the “romantasy” book genre — which often features mythical creatures as part of a love plot — when he broached the topic of Swift and Kelce, who announced their engagement in August 2025.

Describing the plot of one such novel in the popular genre, Morning Glory Milking Farm, Maher said: “One thing leads to another and she winds up f****** a guy who’s half bull ... which brings me to Taylor Swift.”

As a photo of Swift and Kelce, a tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs, flashed on the screen, Maher continued, “Hear me out. I think Taylor Swift epitomizes the journey a lot of women have been going through. Yes, women wanted men to be more sensitive — sensitive, but not some noodle-bodied human turtleneck who wears the same clothes they do.”

“Taylor Swift went from writing songs about what a d*** this guy was to her, and what a d*** this guy was to her, to what a d*** this guy has,” Maher continued, seemingly referring to Swift’s song “Wood” from her latest album, The Life of a Showgirl. “She dated a procession of skinny, gay-adjacent, meek porcelain doll, shy guy, twink-like, tortured poet metrosexuals in America and Europe. But that second she got some old school wood from the Heartland, it was game over,” he added.

Bill Maher has made a crass comparison between Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends and current fiance (Getty)

The ninth track on the pop star’s latest album, which launched in October, is replete with sexual innuendos about how Kelce’s love changed her life.

“Forgive me, it sounds cocky / He ah-matized me and opened my еyes / Redwood tree, it ain’t hard to see / His love was the key that opened my thighs,” Swift, 36, sings in the post-chorus.

“And baby, I’ll admit I’ve been a little superstitious (Superstitious) / The curse on me was broken by your magic wand (Ah) / Seems to be that you and me, we make our own luck / New Heights (New Heights) of manhood (Manhood),” continues Swift, referencing Kelce’s popular New Heights podcast. “I ain’t gotta knock on wood.”

Kelce shared his verdict on the tune during an October episode of his podcast, hosted alongside his brother, Jason Kelce, saying: “It’s a great song!”

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Jason later gave his seal of approval as well, saying: “I think inserting wood innuendos is always childish enough for me that I can get on board with that.”