Gilmore Girls: 12 of the most iconic one-liners on the show

Stars Hollow has lived on as the TV capital of witty repartee

Clémence Michallon,Roisin O'Connor
Wednesday 16 September 2020 12:58
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Rory Gilmore's graduation speech

It’s been 13 years since Gilmore Girls wrapped up – and Alexis Bledel, who portrayed Rory Gilmore throughout the show’s seven seasons, has gone on to win an Emmy (an an extra nomination) for her recent performance in The Handmaid’s Tale.

Many fans still remember her as Rory, the Gilmore Girl they grew up with, and whose growing pains they sometimes shared.

Naturally, Rory wouldn’t have been able to shine quite as bright without the presence of her mother, Lorelai, who never missed an opportunity to impart her witty repartee to her only child.

Rory and Lorelai’s fast-talking delivery was so infectious that many residents of Stars Hollow could later be witnessed offering their share of zingers and comebacks over the years.

In honour of Bledel’s birthday (16 September), here are 12 of the most iconic one-liners delivered on the show. So if you’re out, on the road, feeling lonely, and so cold… may they bring you joy and solace.

When a girl at Yale asks a soaking wet Rory and Paris if it’s raining

Paris: “No, it’s national baptism day. Tie your tubes, idiot!”

When Rory has to take up a sport

Emily Gilmore: “You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs, gathering dust, along with the rest of her potential.”

When Rory doesn’t want to talk to Logan, so Paris takes care of it:

“You offer nothing to women, or the world in general.”

When Lane asks Rory whether sex was great and Rory replies with this lesson in propriety:

“Not in front of the books, Lane.”

When Lorelai shares this snapshot of the “scary gibberish” that populates her brain when she tries to write:

“Hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey, monkey, underpants!"

When Lorelai and Rory bring Emily and Richard leftover wedding cake:

Emily Gilmore: “You brought us used dessert?”

When Lorelai hits us with this life rule in the pilot:

“If you're going to throw your life away he better have a motorcycle!”

Another Emily Gilmore zinger to Rory at Yale:

"“I was going to wait until you called me, but my life isn't as long as yours.”

When Emily is told by her husband that “only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch”:

“Well then buy me a boa and drive me to Reno, because I am open for business!”

When Richard resolves to look up Luke’s favourite writer, “Dick something”, online:

“Well, I’ll bring ‘Dick’ up on the internet, see what comes up.”

When Luke tells Jess his mum is on the phone

“Tell her I gotta take another crack at that closet. I think I hung my Tool t-shirt next to my Metallica t-shirt and they don’t really get along.”

When Richard finds out his mother kissed a man in a tracksuit:

“I guess I’ve got a new daddy.”

See our ranking of Rory Gilmore’s relationships here.

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