The Inbetweeners: The 25 best quotes from the Channel 4 sitcom

The best lines from the British sitcom's original three-year run

Jacob Stolworthy
Tuesday 01 January 2019 17:30 GMT
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The Inbetweeners: Will's Yoda impression fails to impress

Ten years ago, a brand new sitcom began on Channel 4 with an episode that introduced a quartet of central characters very far removed from the modesty in which it made its debut.

Created by Damon Beesley and Iain Morris, The Inbetweeners followed the adolescent travails of four foul-mouthed teens - Will, Simon, Jay and Neil - who found their way into the hearts of every university student in the country.

The writers' willingness to amp up the coming-of-age awkwardness to heights it had never reached saw the comedy spawn two additional series and two feature films, the first of which received the biggest ever opening for a comedy film in the UK.

While it seemed this may be the last we've seen of these particular characters, it's been announced they'll return in a special one-off programme titled The Inbetweeners 10th Birthday Party which will include behind the scenes clips, surprise guests, celebrity fans, unseen footage and embarrassing stories.

Tom Beck, Channel 4's head of live events and commissioning editor for entertainment, said: “Will, Jay, Simon and Neil spent years failing to sneak into the best parties, so I'm very pleased to throw one that they're definitely invited to. I just hope Will brings his Mum.”

There's no denying the influence The Inbetweeners had on pretty much every sitcom to have followed (Fresh Meat, Plebs and Lovesick all owe something in part to the show) thanks to its endless laughs, indie rock soundtrack and quotable script.

To mark the Inbetweeners: Fwends Reunited special that celebrates the anniversary, below is a selection of the greatest from its original three-year run - be warned: extremely puerile language follows.

Neil: I stopped believing in God when I realised it was just 'dog' backwards

Simon: Things have really changed. Girls might be about to notice us for who we really are
Jay: Well you're f***ed then because you're a t***

Jay: Bring your wellies, because we’re going to be knee deep in clunge

Neil: How long’s my lunch hour?

Neil [about Will's Mum]: She's fit!
Jay: Yeah, I'd f*** her. Wouldn't you?
Will: Hmm well if she's my mum, no?

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Simon: You s***ed your pants in the common room during the day when there were people around - and then your pubes fell out?
Will: Yes
Simon: I think this is way out of my league

Carly: Do you wear aftershave now?
Simon: Oh, just lynx

Jay: I got a blowjob off my cleaner
Will: Who was your cleaner? Gary Glitter?

Jay: All girls think their mates are well fit, then you meet them and they look like a pork scratching

Neil: What is Swansea? Is it an animal?

Simon: When do you ever go to London?
Jay: All the time. I went last weekend. I f***ed some girl up there.
Simon. Did you? Where was that then?
Jay: The Tower of London
Simon: The Tower of London? What did you do after? Cut her head off?

Simon [to Neil]: You just punched a fish to death

Neil: How about this one then?
Jay: Championship Manager? Completed it.
Neil: But you cant complete it.
Jay: Er, I know, But I got so good at it they offered me a role in the England set-up.
Neil: Did they?
Jay: I took Woking from the conference to the champions league in 6 seasons, that kind of stuff doesn't go unnoticed.

Will [adopting Yoda voice]: Feisty one you are!

Jay: Once on holiday in Spain, me and my mate got on a pedalo and ended up in Africa

Mr Gilbert: There's nothing funny about testicles as you will find out later in my office

Neil: How much lego can you stick up your bum?
Jay: You are grim, mate

Jay: When I say I'm gonna deliver, I f***ing deliver
Will: Oh, like a postman with Tourettes

Simon [getting carried away with bedroom talk]: I'm gonna **** your f***ing fanny off, you t***

Will: So if I eat this bonsai tree I automatically become fun and interesting do I?

Neil: What if I have to go to the birth? Can you imagine how grim that will be - watching a baby get squeezed out of her arse?
Will: Right, I've got some news, Neil.

Jay: Yes, I f***ed a Dutch girl
Simon: Bollocks, you've been to Holland
Jay: Yes, I have. It was the West Ham Under 13s football tour
Will: Right, and what did she do to you to when you were 12 that was so filthy?
Jay: It was properly filthy, I shouldn't tell
Simon: Try us
Jay: Alright. When I fingered her, she shit down my arm...

Tara's sister: I'm not mad keen on the idea of you having sex at all but at least it's where I know you're doing it somewhere comfortable
Simon: Absolutely, in the vagina
Tara's sister: I meant in my bed

Jay: Oh, I'm gonna have to go, I got a missed call from Ralph Lauren [walks away]
Simon: Didn't even ring, did it?

Jay: Bus wankers!

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