The sun rises after the most dramatic night yet on Love Island. Joe and Elma have received their marching orders. Everyone immediately forgets Elma ever existed. But Lucie is traumatised by Joe’s exit. Joe may feel the same, having been bundled off to an ITV2 safe house amid a viewer backlash against his “manipulative” behaviour.
This provides the emotional core of the episode. And if the words “emotional core” and Love Island don’t sound as wildly contradictory as they should it’s perhaps because Lucie’s hurt feels so raw and genuine.
But we’re soon moving on, with the focus on Michael and Amber’s first date. We’re told this has gone swimmingly – not least by Michael. Alas, Amber doesn’t appear to share his enthusiasm. Elsewhere Anna and Jordan take their relationship to the next level by exchanging saliva on the swinging couch. Aaaah… is that something in your eye?
Yes, a glob of Tom’s hair-gel after his head snaps back upon hearing Maura inform everyone she isn’t really into him (or words to that effect). Here are the talking points.
1. Is Love Island pushing Lucie too far?
Joe has been accused of controlling behaviour against Lucie during his stint in the villa. But now he’s gone she’s really, horribly upset. Whenever we see her, Lucie’s eyes are raw, her cheeks streaked with tears. She is unrecognisable from the cheery surfer who joined the contest and tried to get everyone to say "bevvy". Reality television is all about peeling away the “artifice” and bringing us the inner vulnerability. But this feels cruel.
2. Is Michael is the happiest man in Mallorca?
The answer is obviously yes. He and Amber go on a date and kiss for .00003 of a second. But that’s better than no kiss at all and Michael returns to the villa several inches taller. He’s smiling more than all the other male contestants put together. Of course, that’s not really an achievement considering the competition includes partnerless Anton and Danny, who is fed up with Yewande for not being completely besotted with him.
3. Are Jordan and Anna a real couple?
The second kiss of the night is slightly more enthusiastic. But again, with lots of awkwardness. Not from Jordan whose smile is even brighter than his ultra-white sweater (I still see the outline when I close my eyes). But Anna seems mildly pleased rather than actively thrilled. Your faith in the redemptive power of love has not been completely restored.
4: Where’s the Yewande-Danny arc heading?
Yewande doesn’t like talking about her feelings. Especially when those feelings have to do with her not fancying Danny. He’s not at all pleased and looks as if he’d rather be paired off with a hair-dryer than with the glamorous scientist. Could a noxious uncoupling be on the cards?
Love Island continues nightly at 9pm on ITV2
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