Piers Morgan: The most imaginative insults used against the GMB presenter

From ‘sentient ham’ to ‘terrified on the inside’ – it’s all here

Piers Morgan is no wallflower. He likes to offend people. A lot. Just this year, he’s called Elizabeth Hurley “creepy”, James Acaster a “pasty-faced weasel” and Dominic Raab “extraordinarily arrogant”. Hell, he even called himself a “b***end” this week.

The Good Morning Britain presenter has had more public feuds than his former pal Donald Trump has had spray tans. Quite ironic, given that he is one of the biggest stars on ITV, whose motto is “Be Kind”.

Plenty of people have also sworn and raged at Piers Morgan online – but only a few have used genuinely creative insults, the best of which we’ve collected here.

“A sentient ham”

The former Great British Bake Off contestant Ruby Tandoh was not impressed when she was approached to be on Good Morning Britain in 2017. She declined the invite and shared a screenshot of an exchange she had with the person who asked her on.

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“I know it’s just your job so no hard feelings,” Tandoh had written, “but Piers Morgan is a sentient ham and frankly I’d rather die.”

In response, Morgan tweeted: “I’m devastated. Who is she?”

“Deluded pillock”

Lord Sugar and Morgan have argued about many things online – usually to do with the government’s response to the pandemic.

It was after Morgan appeared to claim credit for the government’s decision to scrap the migrant NHS surcharge that Sugar decided to use an old-fashioned barb against Morgan, calling him a “deluded pillock”.

“Thirstiest b**** alive”

The Good Place star Jameela Jamil called Morgan the "thirstiest b**** alive" on Twitter after he criticised her past comments about women.

In response, Morgan said: "I have an issue with the fact you’re a foul-mouthed, abusive, women-shaming, hypocritical, virtue-signalling little fraud."

“Petty, petulant, fragile man baby”

A guest on Good Morning Britain, author and activist Dr Shola Mos-Shogbamimu, came up with this put-down during a discussion about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

Morgan accused her of having a “blind adulation” for the pair, to which she replied: “There is no blind adulation because I might as well refer to you, Piers, as being a petty, petulant, fragile man baby who can’t get his act together because Meghan rejected you.”

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Over the years, Morgan has publicly criticised Markle. However, the pair used to be friends and went for drinks in London the night before she met Prince Harry for the first time.

“I never heard from her again. Not a word. I’d been ghosted,” he wrote in a December 2018 article for the Daily Mail.

The Home Alone pigeon lady

Morgan was forced to deny making a secret cameo in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, after fans noticed his uncanny resemblance to one of its characters.

In the 1992 comedy sequel, Irish actor Brenda Fricker plays a homeless woman who lives in Central Park and who befriends young Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin).

A resemblance between Morgan and the “pigeon lady” was first highlighted by Morgan’s son Spencer, who tweeted an image of the character in 2018.

“Chilled night watching Home Alone 2,” Spencer Morgan wrote. “Always forget you’re in it @piersmorgan.”

“Terrified on the inside”

Captain America star Chris Evans was not happy when Morgan mocked Daniel Craig for using a baby carrier.

Tweeting a picture of the James Bond actor taking a walk with his newborn daughter strapped to his chest, Morgan wrote: “Oh 007… not you as well?!!!” He added the hashtag #emasculatedBond.

This sparked criticism from Evans, who questioned why Morgan was commenting on other people’s parenting skills.

He said: “You really have to be so uncertain of your own masculinity to concern yourself with how another man carries his child. Any man who wastes time quantifying masculinity is terrified on the inside.”