Simon Amstell says ayahuasca freed him of ‘shame’ over sexuality

The 46-year-old came out as gay when he was 21 years old

Comedian Simon Amstell has opened up about how trying ayahuasca helped him overcome feeling “ashamed” about his sexuality.

The 46-year-old star, who has been on our screens since the 1990s and found popularity as a Popworld presenter in the early noughties, came out as gay when he was 21 years old.

In the years since, he has explored his sexuality in a number of his projects, penning the semi-autobiographical 2010 sitcom Grandma’s House and a 2018 feature film, Benjamin, about a repressed gay writer.

In a new interview with The Times, Amstell discusses his struggle with shame – which was permanently altered by an experience with ayahuasca, a psychoactive tea from South America.

“I wasn’t ashamed any more,” he said. “I grew up being too scared to even think about my desires but with ayahuasca I was free and full of love, acceptance and pleasure.

“It really is incredible to reconnect with the forces of the natural world and be given a choice: lean into shame — or pleasure.”

Amstell has explored sexuality in his work (Tristan Fewings/Getty Images)

Amstell has previously shared that his family had mixed reactions when he came out, with his father telling him to seek therapy.

Reflecting on their relationship now, he added that “not being loved or accepted” by a parent is “a huge deal”.

“I last saw him about a year ago and he said, ‘I guess I’ve come to terms with the idea that you will end up going to hell.’”

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Ayahuasca ceremonies, popular in the Amazon rainforest region of South America, usually see a shaman guide a small group of people through an intense psychological trip that can last for hours.

Amstell is far from the first famous face to share a positive experience of the psychedelic, and Will Smith previously credited the substance with starting his “spiritual journey”.

“You’re not hallucinating,” he explained. “It’s like both realities are 100 per cent present… There’s what’s going on in your head and what’s going on in the room.

“Once you drink it, you’re gonna see yourself in a way you’ve never seen yourself.”

The King Richard actor admitted that he’s had bad experiences with ayahuasca too, describing one particular trip as “the individual most hellish psychological experience of my life”.

Will Smith has also tried ayahuasca - with mixed results (AFP via Getty Images)

“I’m drinking, I’m sitting there, and then all of a sudden, it’s like I start seeing all of my money flying away and my house is flying away and my career is gone away,” he recalled.

“I’m trying to grab for my money and my career and my whole life is getting destroyed.”

Other celebrities who have discussed trying ayahuasca include Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly.

The on-off couple went to Costa Rica to take part in a three-day ceremony, which Transformers actor Fox described as a “hellish” experience that saw her go “to hell for eternity” on the second night.