What's on the small screen

Tickets to the ball

Monday sees the beginning of that time of year when two tellies are essential in all shared accommodation: yes, Wimbledon is back (12noon BBC2; 1.50pm BBC1). Although the publicity machine would have us think that the All- England Lawn Tennis Championships is an Anglo-Saxon dream of striped blazers and strawberries, the grim reality is one of couch potatoes sitting in darkened front rooms working on their beer bellies and driving their cohabitants to distraction. For the ladies, there's the return of the great Des Lynam, whose moustached charm slathers social events in a miasma of manliness only matched by the shot cufflinks of Omar Sharif. For the gents, there are the frilly knickers of goddesses such as Steffi Graf and the divine Czech, Jana Novotna (left). If, however, you find it hard to work up the enthusiasm, you could always take a copy of Betjeman and head for the parks, which, as a spin-off, will be mercifully empty.

Cold and clinical

National Infertility Week ends on Sunday. Infertility used to be a fairly straightforward thing: your social circle made mawkish comments until they learned tact and adoption agencies turned you down for being over 30. Technology, however, has added a whole new tranche of moral dilemmas. In a year's time, the 1991 Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act becomes concrete when the first batch of frozen human embryos affected by it reach their five-year sell-by date. Any embryo not used by that time will be binned. Heart of the Matter (Sun 10.25pm BBC1) explores the options facing the natural parents of these children: use it up yourself, "adoption in the womb", donation to research or simple destruction. Although breeding is becoming increasingly manageable, is it right? Queasy stuff.

Another 48 hours

National Music Day, that lone brainchild of Mick Jagger, is this Saturday and Sunday. Yes: that is, in fact, two days, but who ever claimed musicians could count? This weekend will see more than 1,300 diverse musical happenings all around the UK. As well as local bash-alongs the length and breadth of tuneful Blighty, there are celebrity events. Tony Hadley from Spandau Ballet gets out his pipe and slippers to sing along with a big band (Sun 2pm R2); Bon Jovi emit awesome tsunamis of blange-rock live from Wembley (Sun 8pm R1), and there's even a special Songs of Praise with a simulcast on Radio 2 (Sun 6.25pm BBC1). But perhaps you're someone who just hates tunes. Don't worry, they've thought of you as well: Harrison Birtwistle's new "opera", The Second Mrs Kong (left) premieres at Glyndebourne this weekend as well (Sat 6.30pm R3).

Money for nothing

This week's crop of new video releases is a rum one. They don't come much rummer than Benny Hill. From Saturday you can buy The Best of Benny Hill (Lumiere) at the humourless price of pounds 5.99, and revel in the man's "zany unpredictability" and "keen observation". Another way in which you can prove that you're a doomed social misfit is to splash out your sponduliks on something incredibly titled Brookside: the Teenagers (Channel 4 Video, pounds 12.99 from Monday). Sadly, it isn't about Frankie Valli's old gang shambling into the Close and giving an off-the-cuff close-harmony rendition of "Why Do Fools Fall in Love?"; instead Phil Redmond talks to the soap's fresh- faced actors about the japes and stresses of being a teenage star. Nature- lovers can pick up two boxed sets of Survival vids, viz. Kingdoms of the Plains and Kingdoms in Conflict (Warner, pounds 17.99 each from Monday), while cineastes can enjoy a new clutch of releases from the excellent Arthouse Original label, including Marco Ferreri's La Carne and Que La Bete Meure, by genius Frenchman Claude Chabrol (pounds 15.99 each from Monday). Funnier than Benny Hill, and, we would suggest, better value.

Compiled by Serena Mackesy and Steven Poole