Words: Hughie, n.

BOB DYLAN and Paul Simon are touring together, which could make for an inspired duet as one sings, "You don't need a weather man / To know which way the wind blows", and the other, "I can gather all the news I need / On the weather report."

The fraught world of the weather man is shown by a Met Office inquiry into the telly fiefdom of Bill Giles, who - like Jill Dando - was previously unknown to me (I take Dylan's approach). After winning the appeal, Giles doubtless praised Hughie. Who? He is the god prevailed upon by Australians this century to send rain - perhaps a variant of the military phrase "Send it down, David", although St Hugh is a patron of rain while an echo of pluie is posited by the wartime pilot and slang sleuth Len Clarke.