They're very pretty dogs. They were court favourites at the time of Francis I and ladies used to put them in flower baskets and carry them round. They're in paintings by Goya and Fragonard. Our two are very white – someone comes to shampoo them every week. They wear orchid-pink cashmere sweaters from Ralph Lauren and in winter, red tartan coats with black velvet collars. Well, we all need some silliness in our lives.
There are three Bichon breeds: Milanese, Veronese and Bolognaise. So I tell mine: "You're just bowls of spaghetti." And they look at me, really trying to understand what I'm saying.
Heirs of Ravenscar (HarperCollins, £6.99) is out in paperback this week
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