Made in Chelsea: Amsterdamned

Ollie, Gabriella and Cheska in Amsterdam

Hugo can’t have scrubbed up from the celebrity jungle yet as he didn’t appear in tonight’s episode, which was back on tip-top-toff condition despite his absence.

Ollie and Gabriella finally got it on in Amsterdam, where Cheska, Binky, Ollie, Richard and Gabriella rode around on bikes in an unusally wholesome MIC scene. Richard’s new nickname ‘Dickie’ made them sound all the more like a boozed up version of the Famous Five partying on their trust funds.

Jamie, who thought about giving Binky a key ring to make it up for playing her around, instead appears uninvited on a bridge in ‘Loversterdam’ tandem in tow, where he delivers Binky the romantic apology “I know I f***ed up and I’m sorry. I miss you”.

Back in SW3 and all looked good for Francis and Sophia to finally seal the deal. Sophia realised when Proudlock looked momentarily ugly in a furry hat that her heart really was set on Francis.

Too bad it was all too late, as meanwhile Francis- clad in a retro orange shirt- decided to go speed dating. In a world where a boy can look downhearted and rah-diculous in a 70s shirt, Francis of course manages to seal a drink with beautiful fellow speed dater Ashleigh.

By the time Sophia reaches Francis' pad to tell him she has spuriously been taken in by trendier-than-thou Proudlock, Ashleigh appears at the door and Sophia realises she is too late.

Spencer’s timing is also misjudged. Having already chosen to move in with Jamie and Proudlock, he tells girlfriend Louise who cries. A lot. “Why would he want to live with a lot of single boys who are going to be having girls over the whole time?” she asks Rosie. Because he’s a young guy and you’re at University in Edinburgh most of the year love.

Spencer assures her he is trustworthy, but we already know something is rotten in the state of Sloane as self-confessed ‘player’ Lucy dumps Andrew for ‘more of a bad boy alpha male’, which can only mean Spencer.

Next week’s clips look predictable and watchable as ever. Francis kisses Ashleigh in a contemporary art gallery while Sophia feels sorry for herself. Louise continues to cry some more and Spencer agrees to give Lucy his number.

Only in Chelsea folks.