The New York bagel run is an endless process of disappointment and guilt

Even in the city of a billion bagels, this Big Apple staple can go very wrong. Holly Baxter on why she and her co-workers have such a tumultuous relationship with their local bagel shop

Getting the perfect bagel basically requires everything in the universe to align (Getty)

To be a true New Yorker, you need to be in an abusive relationship with a bagel shop. It’ll probably be a bagel shop near where you live where you get your weekend brunch or your Friday treat – like the mysteriously named Bagel Pub near where I live in Brooklyn, just one example, alongside tubs of “pub cheese” in Whole Foods, of Americans fundamentally misunderstanding what a “pub” actually is – or it might be an outlet near your place of work. For me (and most members of The Independent New York bureau), it’s the latter.

Every Friday morning at nine, we sit around somebody’s computer and pick out our orders to reward ourselves for a long week of hard work. Mine’s a toasted everything bagel with jalapeno cream cheese and pickled onions, in case you’re wondering, and no I don’t want your judgment. If you’re not familiar with Big Apple bagel parlance, an everything bagel is a bagel made with all the ingredients available to that particular bakery – usually garlic, sesame seeds, pepper, poppy seeds, pretzel salt and onion flakes. So you can imagine how great my breath smells on a Friday after 11am.