Managing time differences is both a blessing and a curse

Taking part in a virtual quiz with relatives from across the pond was a strange experience, writes Holly Baxter. My partner and I had just rolled out of bed and they were cracking open afternoon beers

Drinks via video apps will get us through (AFP/Getty)

When my fiance and I relocated to New York, we had a big goodbye party with all of our friends. From then on, we assumed, we’d only speak to them sporadically and catch up properly during Christmases or every other summer when we returned to the UK.

Needless to say, a pandemic was not on our agenda. And we’ve found that in the past few weeks, an upside of the current situation is that it lends itself perfectly to rekindling those relationships which otherwise may have dwindled.

There’s just one problem – the time difference – and it can be either a blessing or a curse. When I tried to organise a virtual family pub quiz this weekend with my three siblings and my dad, it turned out the only time everyone could do was 10am New York time on Sunday. My fiance and I spent the night before concocting a quiz for everyone and when we logged into our video chat in the morning with our coffees, having rolled right out of bed, it was slightly mind-boggling to see everyone else drinking beers and ciders.

When you trim away all the extra distractions and distance no longer becomes a problem, it’s amazing how much you get from the relationships you already have

Quizzing in the early morning takes a little bit of getting used to – and when we logged off after an hour and a half to make our breakfast, my little niece and nephew were getting into their pyjamas ready for bed – but later on, we were able to reap the benefits of a time difference that means everything feels weirdly early.

My fiance and his friends have begun doing virtual poker nights, you see, and mysteriously enough, he keeps winning. In these belt-tightening times, an extra 70 quid really does make the difference – so I’ve encouraged him to carry on with his newfound talent. Why was it, we mused, that he was so regularly coming out on top these days, when he’s a mediocre player at best when meeting up with the same friends face-to-face? After a while, we realised the answer: while the games were dragging on into the early hours of the morning for his friends – and most of them had had a beer or five before even beginning – it was early afternoon when E logged on, and he only started on the booze when the game actually began. Little wonder, then, that he was winning and second place went to their other friend in North Carolina, while the Londoners yawned and drained their drinks cabinets dry.

There’s another advantage to doing your socialising online, and that’s that clashes in the diary no longer matter. In a strange coincidence, the best friends of both E and I share a birthday. At any other time, this would lead to difficulties – but this week, as my best friend turns 31 and his turns 30, we’ll be able to attend their Zoom parties in tandem. All we need is two laptops and the ability to walk from one end of the room to the other (an ability somewhat compromised after enough White Claws or IPAs, admittedly.) After dropping in to see them, we’ve also got another quiz and a group video game to log into, without a long subway ride or plane flight necessary. And when one of us has a group activity that the other doesn’t want to join (I’ve never been a dab hand at Call of Duty), we can have one-on-one video calls with friends we haven’t taken the time to catch up with properly in months.

When you trim away all the extra distractions and distance no longer becomes a problem, it’s amazing how much you get from the relationships you already have. Don’t get me wrong: I’m looking forward to long Saturdays in the sunshine at a brewery or going out for a meal without worrying I’ll be infected with a deadly virus. But my friendships – even my family relationships – have benefited from the creativity needed to fill long hours inside our homes. When I’m not rehashing old fights with my mum about who was right about the colour of a dress we once passed in a shop three years ago, of course.