‘I could never understand why Alex took his own life on the Tuesday, when we’d just got the dog’

Muggles the dog was like their first-born so when Charlotte Cripps finds a lump on his back she is reminded of the day she and Alex first brought him home

(Illustration by Amara May)

He may not be a white fluffy puppy anymore and my flat can barely house us all, but Muggles is like Alex’s and my first-born. I remember the day we got him – three days before Alex died. Alex ran up to the breeder’s house and grabbed him out of her arms. He was a pedigree white golden retriever – his parents had won competitions – and we had high hopes for him.

There were a few red flags that I chose to ignore, such as in all the photos Muggles is always the puppy standing on top of his siblings to get to the their food, so nothing’s changed there – but Alex chose him.

His dad was called Trebettyn Teryrnon to Tannadice and his mum was called Jacunda Dancing Girl of Rozansam, which was all a bit too Game of Thrones for us – so we called him plain old Muggles (despite his pedigree lineage name being Rozansam Gobi Forth). Imagine shouting that out in the local park? I had a list of other names I thought we should call him – Aslam, Escobar, Bluebell – but Alex, being a down-to-earth northerner, told me not to be so ridiculous. He’s Muggles.