A day in the life of Orlando Bloom – pass the sick bucket, please

We have always suspected that, for all their protestations to the contrary, famous people don’t get it – and now we know for sure, writes Rupert Hawksley

Bloom is healthy – but is he happy? Probably, yes (Getty)

I like to write about the stories that really matter. The ones that shake us. No fluff. So I have little option but to use this column to talk about Orlando Bloom and hazelnut milk, neither of which I want anywhere near me at breakfast.

Unless you’ve been living under a large goji berry, you will have seen that The Sunday Times ran an interview with Bloom, in which he described his normal day. I use the word in the loosest possible sense. It starts at 6.30am with Bloom checking his sleep tracker “to see if I’ve had a good sleep and check my readiness for the day”. This must be something only rich and famous people do. The rest of us really don’t need an app to tell us that we are a) exhausted and b) absolutely not ready for the day.

After checking in on his young daughter, Bloom does 20 minutes of Buddhist chanting, reads “a bit of Buddhism” and then posts about it on Instagram. I love that phrase, “a bit of Buddhism”. It’s so nonspecific – like saying, I read a bit of Christianity – and so prosaic. I clean my teeth, tie my shoelaces, read a bit of Buddhism, and head to the bus stop.