Happy Valley

The nanny has gone and I’ve been triggered – it’s like another death

When all that is left of the kids’ nanny is a dressing gown and pair of leggings, Charlotte Cripps is reminded of when Alex died

Wednesday 14 October 2020 17:11
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I’ve been ghosted by the kids’ nanny; she won't respond to my texts or phone calls. After four years? Not even a goodbye? All that is left is a burgundy dressing gown and a few leggings. It’s very triggering. When all you have left are a few clothes and the person has vanished into thin air – like Roseanna has just done – it’s like another death. It’s just how I felt when Alex died. I was left with all his designer shoes and snazzy clothes but he was gone. It’s the strangest feeling. 

It’s all coming back to me as it’s the six-year anniversary of his death this week. When I tell a new mum friend at Lola’s primary school that we are going to light a candle for Alex, she looks a bit confused about the time frame.  “So did he ever meet them?” she asks with a perplexed look, realising it would have been impossible. That’s when I have to explain that Lola and Liberty were conceived after his death via IVF. 

I add: “Liberty was in a freezer in Russia for two years in embryo form.” 

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