The monotony of lockdown has given me no choice but to get away from it all – at least in my imagination

The only thing we can look forward to with any certainty is uncertainty. So why not fantasise instead, asks Jenny Eclair

There won’t be any holidays abroad this year (Getty)

More than anything at the moment, I long for a change of scene. I’d like to wake up in a different bedroom, in crisper, cleaner, better-ironed sheets than my own; I’d also like to get in a different bath, preferably one I don’t have to scoop dead flying ants out of (we’ve had an invasion, long boring story).

I would like to wear some nice clothes, instead of the 10 casual, easy-wash, minimum-iron, top-and-bottom combos that I’ve had on rotation since March – and I’d like to look out of the window and see something else.

Normally, my view doesn’t bother me, I’ve got a choice of three: main road and flats opposite; bins; or back garden – but after eight weeks, I’m fed up with them all. I want to look out on something else and ideally this would be the sea.