In the battle of Kate Middleton vs Meghan Markle, it’s Kate who’s got the upper hand

If I were Meghan, in the unlikely event that they should end up at the same pool party, I wouldn’t stand too close to Kate – she’s tougher than I gave her credit for, writes Jenny Eclair

I now know I was wrong when I wrote Kate off as ‘dull’ (Getty)

I have never been particularly interested in Kate Middleton. She’s not my type of girl – I always thought she radiated that special kind of “prim” reserved for those that like to have fun, but never go too far in the pursuit of it.

I don’t know her, but she has always struck me as being one of those controlled young women, born with the ability to stop drinking before things get too messy and destined never to get too fat to tuck her top into her freshly-washed jeans. Of course, her mother has the same kind of steely determination – Kate may not have been born royal, but she has impeccable genes when it comes to keeping oneself tidy.

Carole Middleton is the kind of woman who can still fit into her wedding dress without looking like something out of a Stephen King movie. Unlike most of us, I doubt she has ever found herself wandering into KFC at midnight asking for a family bucket of fried chicken.