I never felt this conspicuous when I was buying proper gin

Trudy Tyler is still waiting for the promised dividends of Sober October, while her neighbour’s freezer is causing somewhat bigger problems. By Christine Manby

(Illustration by Tom Ford)

Three weeks into Sober October and I am still managing to stay off the sauce. I’ve been watching closely for those changes the internet told me I would see as soon as I dropped my daily commitment to wine o’clock.

Am I sleeping better? I think so. At least I’m always making it to bed now rather than dropping off in front of something Scandi on NetFlix. Clear-skinned? Nope. But the internet assures me that the spots on my chin, a crop the size and scale of which I haven’t seen since I was taking my GCSEs last century, is a sign my body is getting rid of toxins. Weight loss? Definitely not. Not a gram (or perhaps it is ounces again now that we’ve “taken back control”).

I have replaced alcohol with chocolate. For a start, I find it helps to take away the taste of the alcohol-free alternatives I’ve been drinking instead of reaching for the gin. Knowing that I would not get through so much as a week if the only alcohol-free drink I had to hand was #Yne – my biggest client at Bella Vista PR – I stocked up on the competition. Anything had to be better than #Yne’s beetroot-based cabernet substitute.