Bride praised for kicking bridesmaid out of wedding after disagreement over dress colour

‘She could’ve respected your wish but instead did the opposite,’ replied one person

Meredith Clark
New York
Monday 03 July 2023 17:37 BST

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A bride has been praised for her response to a bridesmaid, after she refused to wear the chosen dress colour for her friend’s big day.

This week, Reddit user u/snipperrs went viral when she asked in the popular forum r/AmITheA**hole if she was in the wrong for kicking her bridesmaid out of her wedding because she arrived wearing a purple dress, rather than the approved bridesmaid dress colour.

The 31-year-old bride explained that the bridesmaid, whom she refers to as “Anna” in the viral Reddit post, wanted to wear a purple dress to the wedding because it was her late mother’s favourite colour. “Anna’s mother sadly passed away in January this year,” the original poster (OP) wrote.

For the wedding day, the bride decided to have an “ocean-themed wedding” because she “grew up on the seaside and have always been close to the ocean”. In line with the theme, the bride gave her bridesmaids the option to wear dresses that are blue, a coral pink, or a pastel green colour.

However, because Anna’s mother always loved the colour purple, Anna asked if she could wear a purple dress to the wedding instead. “I’m not crazy about themes usually, but since this wedding was themed to support my family’s tradition – and considering my maid of honour was already going to be wearing a gorgeous pastel blue dress with purple and gold accents – me and my husband who I decided to call and discuss the idea with him politely told her that we understand what she’s going through, but we really want bridesmaids on theme,” the bride explained. “To this she looked hurt, and left lunch earlier than expected.”

Nearly four weeks had passed since she had heard from Anna, until one day when Anna texted the bride several photos of purple dresses and asked for her opinion. The woman “kindly reminded Anna that she wouldn’t be wearing a purple dress to my wedding,” which had “enraged” Anna and led her to block the bride’s text messages.

Two days later, Anna unblocked the bride and apologised for the way she had acted. But when she arrived at the wedding wearing a purple dress, the bride told Anna that she either had to change her outfit or leave the wedding entirely. “To this, she told me to stop creating a scene and that I was being dramatic and disrespectful,” the bride wrote. “Anna broke out in a screaming match and called me and my family ‘insensitive, selfish bastards.’ She was escorted out the door screaming.”

“Once the wedding had ended I received messages from Anna’s family, friends and even Anna,” she added. “They were all saying how Anna was going through a lot and that I was being an a**hole.”

The bride’s post has since received 7,000 interactions and more than 1,000 comments from fellow Reddit users. The woman’s response to the bridesmaid dress debacle was praised by many people in the comments, who claimed she was in the right for kicking her friend out of her wedding.

“If she’s grieving so deeply that she really needed to wear that color, she should have offered to step down as bridesmaid. As a guest, she could wear the purplest purple that ever purpled without an issue,” read the top comment.

“It was your wedding. Not a memorial for her mother,” another person commented. “You didn’t request anything out of the ordinary and her friends and family are not helping her move through anything in a healthy manner.”

Others suggested how Anna could have worn a small tribute to her mother at the wedding instead, such as a purple necklace or purple nail polish. The bride agreed, writing in a comment: “Anna could have worn a purple bag or hair clip or, even though I would love her as a bridesmaid, she could have stepped down as a bridesmaid as the only rule for guests was that they couldn’t wear white.”

“She could’ve respected your wish but instead did the opposite,” said someone else.

In a follow-up comment, the bride thanked fellow Reddit users for their advice and revealed that she’s decided to keep her distance from Anna for the moment. “Thank you so much for the advice, I’m deciding to keep distance between me and Anna and for future references she won’t be coming to any more paid events of mine,” she said. “I appreciate all of your comments so much, this has really opened my eyes about this situation.”

Last April, a group of bridesmaids sparked a debate about wedding etiquette after they revealed they cut their bridesmaids dresses during the wedding reception. In a viral TikTok video, a bridesmaid could be seen cutting up another one’s pink, floor-length gown, starting at the slit of the dress.

As her dress was being altered, the bridesmaid said “Whoa” and smiled, before she did a brief dance move. The woman proceeded to use the scissors to tear through her friend’s dress, while another bridesmaid was sitting down and watching the alteration.

“When all the bridesmaids decided we were gonna cut our dresses after the reception started,” read the TikTok caption. While some people expressed their shock over the alterations, others approved of the bridesmaids’ decisions to cut their dresses.

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