Woman defended for ‘throwing a tantrum’ when her child wasn’t invited to childfree wedding

‘I feel like normally it would be a ‘their wedding, their rules’ situation and I’d say grow up and get over it, BUT this is not that situation’

Brittany Miller
New York
Tuesday 20 February 2024 17:56 GMT
Related: Tom Hanks crashes wedding

A common debate when planning a wedding is whether or not to allow children, and how to handle some invitees who might not support the concept of a childfree wedding.

In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole” subreddit, a woman explained that her sister was getting remarried and was having a childfree wedding, but she was the only person on either side of the family that had a child.

“Yesterday we got her wedding invitation and to my surprise, it said that the wedding is childfree and my child isn’t invited,” the Reddit post read. “My child is 17yo, going 18 soon. Btw my child is the only one under 18 in our family (and in the groom’s family) so she is the only one being excluded.”

She then called her sister to confirm whether or not she was “serious” about having no children allowed at her wedding.

“She said ‘I’m sorry but we have decided that we want a childfree wedding.’ I told her to just say you want a ‘my child’ free wedding and get over with it because this is exactly what you are doing. We got into an argument and she told me to stop throwing a tantrum and my child doesn’t need to be included in everything,” the post continued.

The bride’s sister then informed her that she would not be attending the wedding because of the decision leading to the bride calling her “an a**hole” for not supporting her.

Soon after posting, many people took to the comments to defend the Reddit poster, noting that her daughter doesn’t fit the normal child age and is too old to be excluded from a wedding.


“The people defending the sister in this with the ‘her wedding/her rules’ are so infuriating. It’s antisocial behavior, exclusionary, and just s****y,” one comment began.

“I’m proud of you for defending your daughter OP. The people acting like she’s not a person with feelings, an entire human being because she is 17 are entirely disgusting and there’s absolutely no justification for it. I wouldn’t support my sister doing that either. This isn’t some friend and OP’s daughter isn’t some auxiliary guest. She’s a member of the family, and the only one being excluded.”

Another commenter agreed, writing, “Child free weddings usually mean ‘I don’t want the 3 yo throwing a tantrum during our first dance’ and while there are ways to arrange childcare/ rules that allow a wedding to be nice and undisturbed by kids attending, I can see why some opt for a child free one.”

“In this case though that’s just nonsense. Your daughter is a minor, but not more of a child than her 18yo cousin. What your sister does is othering and not okay. Calling it ‘child free’ is just an excuse.”

Other commenters agreed that there was nothing wrong with not wanting a toddler or maybe even a child under 10 years old at their wedding, but 18 was a high cutoff age.

“I feel like normally it would be a ‘their wedding, their rules’ situation and I’d say grow up and get over it, BUT this is not that situation,” one commenter pointed out.

“Your grown (pretty much) child is literally the only one being excluded. I can’t even imagine what is probably going through that 17 y/o girl’s head right now. She’s probably wondering why her family doesn’t like her. You should definitely talk to her and make sure she knows that some people are just ridiculous about their stupid wedding and that she didn’t do anything wrong. Make sure she knows this is not her fault somehow.”

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