Billie Eilish reveals when she learned she was attracted to women

‘What Was I Made For?’ singer reflects on coming to terms with her sexuality in new interview

Meredith Clark
New York
Wednesday 24 April 2024 17:43 BST
Related: Billie Eilish shares powerful video addressing body-shaming comments

Billie Eilish has opened up about her sexuality journey.

The Grammy-winning singer, 22, spoke candidly about coming to terms with her sexuality in a wide-ranging Rolling Stone interview published on 24 April. While speaking about the upcoming song “Lunch” off her third studio album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, Eilish explained how writing the track - in which she likens sex with a woman to devouring a meal - helped her further understand her sexuality.

“That song was actually part of what helped me become who I am, to be real,” Eilish told Rolling Stone. “I wrote some of it before even doing anything with a girl, and then wrote the rest after.”

The “Bad Guy” singer went on to reveal exactly when she realised she was attracted to women, though she didn’t ever intend on publicly speaking about her sexuality.

“I’ve been in love with girls for my whole life, but I just didn’t understand - until, last year, I realised I wanted my face in a vagina,” Eilish said. “I was never planning on talking about my sexuality ever, in a million years. It’s really frustrating to me that it came up.”

Back in December, the Oscar winner made headlines when she inadvertently came out as queer on the red carpet at Variety’s Hitmakers event. The “Bad Guy” singer later hit out at the publication for “outing” her.

“Thanks Variety for my award and for also outing me on a red carpet at 11 am instead of talking about anything else that matters. I like boys and girls leave me alone about it please literally who cares,” Eilish wrote on her Instagram Story at the time.

Elsewhere during the interview, the “What Was I Made For?” singer admitted that she “overreacted” with her Instagram post.

“Who f***ing cares?” she told Rolling Stone. “The whole world suddenly decided who I was, and I didn’t get to say anything or control any of it. Nobody should be pressured into being one thing or the other, and I think that there’s a lot of wanting labels all over the place. Dude, I’ve known people that don’t know their sexuality, or feel comfortable with it, until they’re in their forties, fifties, sixties. It takes a while to find yourself, and I think it’s really unfair, the way that the internet bullies you into talking about who you are and what you are.”

Eilish explained that she’s “only figuring out [herself] now,” but still felt “exploited” during the red carpet moment. “I’m lucky enough to be in a time when I’m able to say something like that and things go okay for me,” she added. “And that’s not how a lot of people’s experience is.”

This isn’t the first time the “Happier Than Ever” singer has spoken about her gender identity and sexuality. In an interview for Variety’s “Power of Women” issue last November, Eilish admitted that she doesn’t feel like a “girl” despite using female pronouns.

“I’ve never felt like a woman, to be honest with you. I’ve never felt desirable. I’ve never felt feminine. I have to convince myself that I’m, like, a pretty girl,” she told the outlet. “I identify as ‘she/her’ and things like that, but I’ve never really felt like a girl.”

Reflecting on her fondness for baggy clothing, Eilish noted that her controversial fashion choices are in order to protect herself from being oversexualised.

“I wasn’t trying to have people not sexualise me,” she said. “But I didn’t want people to have access to my body, even visually. I wasn’t strong enough and secure enough to show it. If I had shown it at that time, I would have been completely devastated if people had said anything.”

She added: “Maybe my not really caring about being sexualised is because I’ve never felt desired or desirable.”

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