Dilemmas: Dear Virginia,

RECENTLY I went out to lunch with three friends. I don't drink, and that day I just had a starter. They had wine and three courses.

At the end they quartered the bill up, and I felt it would be too mean to say anything, so I paid up. But then one of them snatched up the bill and said he'd try to put it through on his expenses. No one said anything, but I couldn't help feeling angry that he was going to profit from our lunch.

I've been brought up to think it is bad-mannered to talk about money and feel extremely mean even having these ungenerous thoughts. But I sometimes wake at night and feel consumed with resentment, particularly as I work with handicapped children and hardly earn anything, and he works for an advertising company and earns a fortune. We're planning to go out again soon and I know the same will happen again. What do I do?

Yours sincerely, Jim