Dilemmas: Surprise in the wardrobe

Dear Virginia

I recently paid my son a visit in his flat in London. We had a very nice time together, went round a gallery and had dinner with his girlfriend. The last night I was there I decided to tidy up a bit before making supper for us both - and when I went to hang one of his shirts in the wardrobe, imagine my horror when I found it packed with women's clothes. They were very large - my son is 6ft 3in tall - and his girlfriend is petite. There was also a magazine about transvestism.

The rest of my stay was so tense I had to pretend I was ill. But what do I do? Should I mention it? I could try to forget it, but it's not that easy. All our friends say how much happier he is in London. Was that stuff about his girlfriend just a show for me? It is the lack of trust that upsets me as much as anything. Should I tell my son what I know? Why does he do it anyway?

Best wishes,

Gill

Please send your comments and suggestions to me at the Features Department, the Independent, 40 City Road, London EC1Y 2DB; fax 071-956 1739 by Tuesday morning.

And if you have any dilemmas of your own that you would like to share with readers, let me know. I will report back next Thursday.