15 signs that your boss may secretly fancy you

It can be an extremely sensitive topic, and one you don't want to get wrong, but spotting the right signals is crucial if you want to stop things before they get awkward

Jacquelyn Smith
Tuesday 10 May 2016 17:55 BST
Comments
'Check their body language and eye contact. If you catch them stealing glances at you often or sustaining eye contact longer than is comfortable for you, then this could be a sign'
'Check their body language and eye contact. If you catch them stealing glances at you often or sustaining eye contact longer than is comfortable for you, then this could be a sign'

Has your boss been complimenting you more frequently? Have they been texting you on the weekend? Do they laugh at every joke you tell — even the bad ones? If you're nodding to all of the above, then it may because they have feelings for you.

“It can be difficult to tell whether someone has a crush on you or if they're just being extremely nice, so I caution anyone in this dilemma to tread very carefully, as misinterpreting intentions could be embarrassing for both parties, and even career-damaging,” says Michael Kerr, an international business speaker and author of “The Humor Advantage.”

But you should look for the signs that it may be a full-on crush “because that could end up having extremely negative implications on your work,” he says, and you'll want to do something about it before things get really awkward.

Here are 15 signs that your boss may fancy you:

1. They regularly schedule private or late-night meetings

If you're occasionally asked to stay beyond normal business hours and have a legitimate joint project to work on, that's one thing, says Taylor.

“But if you start seeing a pattern of being singled out, and the meetings are always running late — or there are too many unnecessary private meetings — then your boss may be trying to go beyond a professional scope,” she says.

Keep in mind that if you're uncomfortable with these actions and you continue to comply with these requests, things will get worse.

2. They call or text you for no particular reason

Most managers have a heavy workload, so when they take the time just to call you randomly without a real reason to talk, then it can be a sign that they are thinking about you a bit more than they should be, says Kerr.

3. Their body language is playful or sensual

Check their body language and eye contact. If you catch them stealing glances at you often or sustaining eye contact longer than is comfortable for you, then this could be a sign, says Kerr.

4. They give you preferential treatment

Yes, it could be simply because they respect you and trust your abilities, but if it crosses over into clear favoritism — for example, they offer you opportunities that you know in your heart you don't deserve — then it might be a sign then they like you a little too much, Kerr says.

Taylor agrees: "Love struck bosses may give you better projects; more mentoring time than your peers; take you to more lunches; offer you more flexible hours or other perks; be lax about your mistakes; or give you other special treatment. Sounds great? Well, unfortunately, favoritism in the workplace may not only lead to a disgruntled staff — it can result in a hostile work environment claim by other employees, and may lead to a court case."

5. They confide in you

Does your boss share work and personal confidences with you that you know they wouldn't share with anyone else in your office?

“Yes, they may be doing this because they trust you, but it may also be because they want to deepen the relationship and sharing confidences is a proven way to do that,” says Kerr.

6. You get overblown promises from them

A boss who has a romantic agenda may intrigue you with a seemingly exaggerated view of your great future at the company, Taylor warns.

“It may be difficult to discern if your manager is just as encouraging with everyone,” she says. “But when your job outlook seems suspiciously rosy, take pause ... and consider all the possible signs to get a realistic sense of their motivations.”

7. They invite you to spend time together outside of work

It might just be a simple coffee after work, but if this happens in addition to other signs, then this could be a red flag, says Kerr.

8. They suddenly change their appearance at work

New outfits, new haircuts, and more attention to detail might be because they're hoping to catch someone's eye at work, Kerr says. And it might be yours.

9. They value your opinion more than anyone else's

Again, this could just be that they value and trust you as an employee — but if they ask you for input on personal issues, such as clothing choices, or even dating issues, then this might be a sign.

“Asking you for advice on their own love life could be totally innocent, but it might also be a ploy to suss out how you really feel about them,” Kerr warns.

10. They frequently offer compliments beyond work issues

If compliments are coming your way nonstop but they have nothing to do with work or start to sound inappropriate, then your boss may have more than a friendly affinity for you, Taylor says: “While sexual harassment training has exploded over the years, managers can still become lax. So watch for this sign.”

Compliments about your appearance, fashion sense, or amazing personality are especially strong indicators, adds Kerr: “Throwaway lines such as, 'Anyone would be lucky to have you,' may be signs they have a crush on you.”

If these types of comments make you feel uncomfortable, speak to your HR department immediately.

11. They give you gifts

If everyone in the company receives a motivational mug on Valentine's Day that says, “We love our employees” embedded in a big read heart, that's wonderful. But it is not so endearing if your flirtatious boss secretly places a pack of lovehearts on your desk, says Taylor.

12. They make physical contact

Some people are just very touchy-feely — but if you think that your boss goes out of his or her way to touch your knee or arm, or hugs you as often as possible, then they may be hinting at something.

Again, if this makes you uncomfortable, then you should tell someone.

13. They laugh a little too easily, and a little too long, at your jokes

Overly effusive laughter can sometimes be a great “crush barometer,” Kerr says.

14. They joke and flirt around with you

This may be a form of flirting, says Taylor.

“Humor in the workplace is necessary and builds rapport, but there's a difference between that and a boss who flirts or teases mostly with you, hoping to bring down your guard,” she says.

If your boss mostly keeps to himself but is effusive around you, then that's a sign.

“A bully boss who taunts you or makes unwanted advances is a particularly serious matter, and you should take immediate, proactive steps to stop it in its tracks,” she says.

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Read the original article on Business Insider UK. © 2015. Follow Business Insider UK on Twitter.

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