Don't buy it - the culture-jammers calendar

Advertising, ain'tcha sick of it? Why not see in the New Year with a ha ndy ad-phobics date planner. Helen Fielding reports

For those whose New Year resolutions incline towards: must lose a stone, must go to gym five times a week, must acquire more peachy frocks, a zeitgeistish alternative presents itself. The Vancouver-based, anti-consumer magazine Adbusters has prod uced a "Culture Jammer's Calendar" promoting more spiritual aspirations for 1995.

April features a Calvin Klein advertisement parody, with "Obsession" printed over an arty shot of a woman puking into a loo. April 3-9, it suggests, should be "Dare to be Yourself Week. For Women": 1) Don't wear make-up, 2) Stop reading Cosmo, 3) Discover the real you, suggests the caption. "Cast off the chains of fashion-structured consciousness." April 3-9 should be an excellent week, spent guzzling Milk Tray, Silk Cut and Guinness on the sofa. May 15-20 is "Find Yourself Week. For Men". How to achiev e this? Simple: 1) Grow a beard, 2) Take a trip 3) Leave the gel at home. A further caption encourages, "It's not what you look like, it's what's in your head" - a quotation from one Jello Biafra. This appears next to another Obsession parody, showing a clearly confused youth looking down his "Calvin Kline" (sic) pants with an expression of some dismay.

September 24 is "Buy Nothing Day". "Participate by not participating. A 24- hour continent-wide moratorium on consumer spending designed to remind both the consumer and the retailer of the true power of the buying public." Buy Nothing Day falls on a Sunday, which might seem a rather obvious flaw, but September 24 has been "Buy Nothing Day" for three years now, so to change it would be a bit like changing Christmas. Besides, as Adbusters editor Kalle Lasn explains, "I don't think it matters that much because it's very much about an internal journey."

"International TV Turnoff Week" is running for the second year. "Take Back Your Life" suggests the calendar. "Step1: photocopy this announcement and give it to everyone you know. Step 2: turn off your television on Oct 16 and don't turn it on again till Oct 23. Step 3: Get a life! Read a book, plant a garden, have a conversation. Help stop the recline of North America." It all seems a most thought-provoking and inspiring alternative to the gym and the shopping - apart, unfortunately, for the image for August, which shows a wimpy looking boy with a gel-free shaved head, sitting in the lotus position on a rock in the middle of a pond.

If this is what we're aiming towards, it's enough to drive you straight to Harvey Nichols, sweeties.

6 The Adbusters Magazine and Calendar is available from the Media Foundation, 1243 W 7th Avenue, Vancouver BC, V6H 1B7, Canada. Tel 604 736 9401, Fax 604 737 6021.