How to get the look: Lace

Lace again for spring, huh? Is this a recessionary tactic, less fabric because it's 50 per cent hole?

Could be. Although, you'd be amazed at the amount of work that can go into making holes. Actually, I think it's more about wearing less, without wearing less, if you see what I mean.

Ah, so the illusion of frothy light frippery all the while employing the insulator effects of lots of teeny pockets of trapped air?

Exactly. What you don't realise is that when Sir Ranulph Fiennes treks through icy tundra, all his underwear is made of arctic-grade lace. Maybe.

OK, sell me something that won't make me look like Miss Havisham

This Eros jumpsuit from Alice By Temperley (£445, my-wardrobe.com). Olde worlde lace meets thoroughly modern style. Admittedly this will best suit the willowy, or at least the very neatly proportioned. But worn with bold accessories, it's a cool alternative for formal do's.

Head-to-toe cream lace? Hubris indeed. Please, something that doesn't beg for red wine to be thrown over it, if you will.

OK, maybe that one's for champagne sippers only. Asos's Midi Skater Dress with scoop back is more 1990s than 1890s, which should avoid the Havisham effect (£40, asos.com).